Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Deadly Sins Therapy - Volume 8

Conditional love was the topic that was suggested by my friend Rachel from La Florida, back when I had my question of the day set at, “What would you like ME to do for a blog topic some day”, and I had in turn decided that hers was going to be first. Unfortunately it has been a while since I could actually get to that topic, but I am here today. It happens to be a very big issue with me today as well so I should thank her for actually bringing this about anyway. The concept of love for another human being is a very complex one to begin with, but as you all must know by now I spend a great deal of time obsessing over understanding it better anyway, so I am perfectly willing to share what I know and what I am guessing on.

First of all anyone who doesn’t believe that I have love for absolutely everyone {even those that I hate}, hasn’t actually been paying much attention to my actions, or my deeds, and for that I simply say “shame on you” to begin with. I do actually believe that everyone on this planet DOES owe a certain level of unconditional love for all of mankind, but ALL LOVE is conditional PERIOD. To assume otherwise, either makes you totally immersed from the neck up in ass, or a total liar. I have no problem in saying that. There are those that believe that their love is totally without condition, but they fail to see the point, that even their best intentions have limits, OR the conditions on the love that is between the two individuals is actually being placed by the one you are loving, in whatever fashion you are. Pure unconditional love on both ends is impossible.

A good example of a perfectly reasonable condition that most normal individuals have is, until it does me personal harm. Whatever that threshold might be, the average person is not going to allow senseless bodily injury, or needless emotional scarring to occur over their love for another. I realize that these things do selflessly occur, but to allow them to be considered normal is foolhardy, and not exactly sane. Good examples of these things ARE going on in my life right now. Certain friends who think that my friendship is conditional based on their doddery over those that mean me harm, and others who think that emotionally abusive statements should be taken as helpful criticism. Neither of these things IS acceptable to me, and will not be allowed in my conversations. If friends are incapable of speaking with me in a manner that is different than that, then they are NOT friends and simply become associates, or often times, not communicated with.

Another good example of perfectly reasonable conditions on love is usually based on the Deadly Sin “Invidia” or jealousy, as I have talked about a couple of weeks ago. This actually DOES go both ways, and should be respected on either end. If it is not then the removal method is actually the only suggestion I have for you as, I had stated before, jealousy is not a Deadly Sin that should be trifled with in the least. I personally have never found a way to actually remove it from someone else, as we are ALL powerless over other peoples thinking in the end. The average person who has jealousy over MY actions, and is incapable of accepting the way I behave, regardless of whether they are right or wrong are actually placing conditions on our love. As a result, I need to either choose whether my actions or deeds are that valuable to me, or if they might actually be pointing out a flaw that I should possibly work on. If I choose to keep what they think is a flaw the relationship will probably not get any better, and almost inevitably will deteriorate. If I am the one with the belief that the other ones flaw is that bad, and they are incapable or unwilling to change it, then it works in reverse, and I need to eliminate myself from the relationship, before I end up insane with jealousy. I will at this point only start doing things to harm the other person.

The last condition of love that I find most important as it often affects the love of a romantic nature more frequently, than that of the other two, but is also irreplaceably linked to those as well, is MY Deadliest Sin “Ira” or anger. Temperamental people like me, who tend to work as hard as we can to keep our rage under control, can NOT be expected to stay in “loving relationships” {sexual, romantic, friendly, or any other} if our anger is constantly being drawn out of us. This should be an unsung condition for healthy relationships. This also tests the boundaries of love {again for NORMAL people} in a lot of different ways. Ones jealousy brings out constant anger, or ones harassment over just about anything, usually creates temper issues. Should this be an ongoing thing, most healthy people will give up on the love, and place “official” conditions, when in all reality as I said before, these should have been unspoken conditions to begin with. If they weren’t and worse than that, never are, then YOU have placed yourself in a situation called abuse, and that is NOT normal, regardless of which end of this you are on.

Now I realize that I used the term “normal” or “healthy” a lot in what I have written, and it WAS NOT {oh geeze all of these f*cking capitalized words, I am turning into Lynn … RUN!!!} meant to be insulting or demeaning to anyone, nor was it in any way to try to place onus on anyone to actually be normal, but what it IS meant to do is hopefully make people think about what is good or bad for you. I do strive to be a better person everyday. To be on a collision course down the wrong side of the road, might seem fun for a while, but the chances are pretty good, that you are going to get seriously hurt, or end up dead. In either case, NORMAL dictates that you are lying to yourself if you think that is ok ;8o)

Question … For my dear friend Rachel and me, can you give a good example of a time in your life when you were forced to verbally place conditions on a unconditional love situation, or please tell about a time, when conditions were placed on you? …. Good results or bad results, you know me, just collecting data for the lesson of life … thank you all :D

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! ..
Jeremy

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All writings Copyright © 2006 & Beyond
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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Musical Methadone & Mental Masturbation - Volume 6

So Superdaddyman started his evening off quite normally at Pink Mafia Headquarters {PMHQ}, but the song of the evening was The Hanukah Song, due to all of the blog smashing that Superdaddyman had been bringing to all of the good little girls and boys throughout the land of 360 {yeah muahahahahaha}, and it makes Superdaddyman wonder why he has any friends at all. I had never realized how in the Musical Methadone department, how easily you can drive people nuts with this song. Sneaking up behind coworkers “And look at Randy bein’ dum, yanno he’s such a fuckin blond!” … The possibilities were endless!
The best part though of this night seriously for Superdaddyman was the sheer delight that he brought to his King, the man who just last week has stretch wrapped, shrink wrapped, and vacuum sealed the Superdaddyvan, after placing about 40 crawfish in it, and should be terrified of retribution. No he cared not, as his giddiness over the knowledge that this is officially the last 4 days that he will ever have to deal with ME, made him practically masturbate all night as he walked around with a huge smile on his face. Whatever I did was not going to phase him one bit, and the thought of pranking him actually lost it’s luster with all of his non-caring over such evil that I could have wrung down upon him. Even getting my precious updates on the Squeeler killin from The Artist Formerly Known as Polly Pureheart {TAFKAP} could not bring Superdaddyman to the proper state of giddiness that a good assault on Good King Paco Taco, would have brought, but you kiddies know that something else will always come along to change all of that, now don’t you?
TAFKAP of course found it amusing to bring up that our newly adopted parents are probably miserable over the misfortunes of their chosen football franchise, and although I defended our poor parents to the best of my Superdaddy abilities, the sibling rivalry ensued. The good news was through the cell phone text messaging system I found a wonderful way to waste company profits, by doing absolutely nothing but argue with my dear sis, and it went something like this {actually exactly like this as I forwarded all of the messages to me e-mail box here at home}, and I want you to see first hand how EVIL TAFKAP can truly be!!!

The Evil Child - Go ahead tell don & cathy you PRAYED their team lost :P
The Good Child - I already told them you payed off the refs :P""
The Evil Child - Brat pffft im the cuter one theyll believe ME :p
The Good Child - They were my parents first and they know you lie :P
The Evil Child - Pffft i do not MOOOOOM JEREMY IS PICKIN ON ME
The Good Child - Nut uhhh she's a big meanie head daaaad I think I saw her worshipping Satan!!!
The Evil Child - WAS NOT MOOOM HES GOT DIRTY MAGAZINES ON HIS HARD DRIVE roflmao
The Good Child - Daaaad she has a boyfriend named Spike who hides out the window, and a boyfriend named Bob that hides in her dresser hmpfff :P"""
The Evil Child - DAAAAAD HE WEARS MOMS CLOTHES AND MAKEUP WHEN YOU GO OUT :D, and ROFLMAO that’s not spike he’s sooo last week :D

So at this point I go back to actually working for a bit, and I was unaware of the evil that this woman was truly capable of …

The Evil Child - *sneaks in, puts purple hair dye in jeremys shampoo, runs like hell*
The Good Child - Good thing my stupid sister didn't see me do that to her mouth wash *giggles*
The Evil Child - HEY WHY ARE MY TEETH PURPLE?!? MOOOM, and then sneaks in, puts rubber cement in his vaseline jar & black shoe polish around the lenses of his binoculars
The Good Child – Sneaks out and steals your BOB and sends it to the land of Oz where Joey sells it to Pigmeys, the 17hp motor on the thing scares away the dingos .. lol
The Evil Child - Hey that thing is taller than the pigmies ROFLMAO pokes a pin hole in his blow up doll and steals her stockings, and That was a 24 hp tyvm I saved MONTHS of allowances to buy that baby :P
The Evil Child - Evil laughter fills the mc family home POP goes the blow up doll
The Good Child – NOT EZMARELDA!! I will never love again *pouts*
The Evil Child - Why am I getting doubles on some of the messages?
The Good Child – Because I have been forwarding them all to my email so I can blog them lol Yes but wait til you see it muahahaha
The Evil Child – Dork Still has mine so make sure you post ALL of them and not just my evil ones ROFLMAO
The Good Child – You know how this works Ms Pureheart I will edit them and do whatever I want :P""
The Evil Child - Listen mr daddyman I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE :P
The Good Child – Great another stalker, I have DNA evidence of yours yanno
The Evil Child - Where did you get my dna? Is almost afraid to ask that
who else were you texting with?
The Good Child – From my sheets you know how bad I am at doing laundry lol I did tell you that this is being blogged right?
The Evil Child - Sneaks in and hangs the now deflated & stockingless ezmerelda as a reminder of how low she will stoop :P
The Good Child – Holds a lighter under your Andy Taylor poster and *smirks* And I have all of your Duran Duran albums too baby muahahaha
The Evil Child – Youre the one who admitted to not washing his sheets in over a month :P Ummm NO? ROFLMAO and i want it duly noted that you DID shower and wash your sheets each time i came over
The Evil Child – ANDY? Wrong taylor *sobs* DID YOU EVER LOVE ME? you dont even know which taylor i lust after
The Good Child – I am a single guy, that is a given puh-leeze, and Oh geeze the only time you see John is in Gay Porn puh-leeze

And it actually went on a bit longer but I think I finally have the evidence to show why mom and dad, love me more, and actually I think I also have enough evidence in that to show that we are really from Alabama as well. Aside from that there truly is no reason that anyone has to dread going to work, simply make everyday a holiday, by making your boss thrilled to get rid of you, and every once in a while remind your ex girlfriend that she is lucky to be rid of you too … boy I am tired … long night ;8o)

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Monday, November 28, 2005

Livin' With Evils's - Volume 16

Today I have to work, which means that I was expecting a lot of sleep when I went to bed at about 1am hoping for the best. I had been sleeping so horribly this week, so when I woke up at 6:30 I totally freaked out. I had done nothing but sleep through alarms as of late, but this had been the mother of all. I was in the middle of one of the filthiest dreams I had had in months too, so that didn’t exactly make my life any easier! My mind was yelling at me to take care of this tent problem with my blankets, while at the same time beating me up for WAY oversleeping. Sleeping 13 hours a day for the last 4 has really put a damper in all of that free time I had promised myself, after the nightmare of two weeks I had just been through.

I ran to the bathroom tripping over absolutely everything, and of course knocking the only part of my body that was working at the moment against, doorways, floors, the bathroom door, until I finally had my face against the back of the toilet so that I could hopefully urinate INTO the toilet. Damn, the usual spraying off to each side … ack … so now I have to add cleaning up the floor in here before I have a 5 year old playing in my bathroom in daddies piss, while I am at work. Ok that done … I am fumbling to get the shower on so that I can make a vile attempt to clean my nasty, less than showered as of late due to vacation days, self off! This has been a project to since lately every time hot water touches my body I get lost in this erotic fantasy, and then the next thing you know I have simply used up all of the hot water before I even get soap in my hair {oh you all didn’t think while I was being soulful and self seeking I didn’t still have my little quirks did you} so freezing cold hair washing follows which tends to help with the feeling of horny I woke up with finally. I deserved this after all, so I simply let every part of my body get goose pimpled to the point of being tight. Damn the thought of tight has me going again!

So I go through the state of stumbling, fumbling to get my clothes together, and hopefully prepare for a horrible night at work, reach into the freezer, get an Ice Pack, tucked into the back of my pants {for my back not my erection you perverts}, and I start racing up the stairs to grab coffee, and maybe a little food. I am greeted by a 5 year old in her Barbie pajama’s eating a bowl of cereal, and now I am about to yell at the evil 70 something year old for again giving the kids whatever the hell they want for dinner when I notice that evil 70 something year old dressed in her robes also. Somewhere between yelling at her, for this, and realizing that I am such an idiot, I decide to ask “Is it still morning?” which makes everyone in the general vicinity break into their “Daddy is Silly” laughs that usually make it easier for me to sneak away and crawl back into my cave downstairs.

Ok then so now I am totally dressed, showered and ready to do nothing for the next 11 hours, so I figured that I would start on a few of the blogs that I never get around to anymore, because of my life being so out of control. About 3 blogs in I am exhausted again, and {surprise surprise} horny. I decide to simply start writing out a few notes, when the daughter comes downstairs {not the super cute one, in her Barbie pajama’s but the super evil one with all the excuses} and she is facing me with another dilemma, which as usual is my fault and not her own. Ok so she had apparently lost something I was supposed to sign, and she doesn’t exactly know what it is, but it was in the pile of stuff in her room that she forced me to throw away, as I had promised, while she was gone. I told her to clean her room {damnit} or else I was going in there with garbage bags. She didn’t, I did, and that is how it works in this house {damnit} so she figured it was a wonderful opportunity to use it to her advantage. I didn’t fall for this one, what I did was I created a new document on my desktop for occasions like this. I then signed it and sent it on her way with her, and I was back to bed, after realizing that perhaps I have needed the sleep more than the popularity these days. Here’s a copy of the letter I have saved on my computer if any other parents find it useful, then please feel free to steal it, those that find it offensive, then please fuck off, and be offended by that instead ~winks~

To whom it may concern …

I am sending you a copy of the generic note that I now have saved on my computer for times like these. This is probably regarding Big Evil, as she has somehow lost the note I was supposed to sign, and I probably haven’t gotten the correct story as to what was supposed to be signed, so I am bringing it to your attention this way, as to make it known that I have NOT signed a permission slip for anything, and I have not actually been up to date on what it is I am signing anyway. If this note is actually for Middle Evil, or Little Evil, please accept my apologies as I am becoming a trained professional at this …

Reason for losing said “Daddy must sign Document” this time …. Excuse from Daughter goes HERE

Please accept my apologies and as always if this is an actual important event I would appreciate a phone call at {603} 555-1212 with any details of said ramifications of what I supposedly just signed, or involvement I was supposed to have in the education of my child. I apologize and I hope that you understand.

Signed …. Superdaddyman {and yeah it is an indecipherable squiggle}

______________________________ date _____________

Kids … ya gotta love em!

I do want to tell every one of you that I am truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart that I have been unable to grace everyone’s pages with my mirth that a lot of you have expected as of late. It was some sad reality that struck me lately, and I truly do adore every one of you. I just do as I must lately, as I was taught some hard lessons over the last two weeks, and I needed a Jeremy recharge something fierce … God Loves You All and So Do I … ;8o)

All writings Copyright © 2006 & Beyond
Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Things You Learn From Your Ex Wife's Girlfriend - Volume 6

I would be lying to you if I said I saw this one coming out of the blue, but it was quite a shock, since I had seen this thread dying with my last “My name is Jeremy and I am a Drunk” thread. The inevitable issues that surfaced when we had Captain ADHD’s birthday party, were the cause of it, and if ya didn’t read about that then screw ya. I hadn’t heard from the Rainbow Coalitions answer to Jay & Silent Bob since that day and I figured that perhaps, my words had bitten in a little two hard on my poor EX3, and her Girlfriend, to actually heal the wounds that I often have been able to inflict with my keyboard. Shows what I know, as I was having my normal Sunday morning, woken up to early, with a pile of an old ladies bullsh*t, followed by her interjecting herself awkwardly into anything that could possibly make me happy.

I was actually sitting in the middle of an IM that I felt to be rather important, as it was working rather beautifully on my fragile psyche {Ok it was someone talking dirty to me … sheesh}, when Greektradgedius decided to come down and demand my attention like my 5 year old daughter. During this spectacle of utter insanity that practically had me in tears the first phone call came, EX2 {long story short … wah wah wah bitch bitch bitch}, immediately followed by a phone call from EX3 which was vaguely reminiscent of one of her manipulations, but had the slightest hint of sincerity to it. In either way, I said yes to her, to get her off the phone, and then told the old lady standing behind me to go away. I realize that sounds harsh, but it is my story and I am sticking to it. I opened up the IM and thank God the conversation had continued without me even having the window maximized. I changed the subject though as we had a good honest laugh at my life for a moment, and then I set forth on the plans that EX3 had talked me into.

I was thinking to myself that this was going to be a funny blog, as I am now driving out to Maine, about 40 minutes away to pick up the evils’s, and drive them 5 minutes down the road so that EX3 can take them from me, and then drive the 40 minutes back home again. Let’s face the facts that that is just plain screwed up without factoring in that in a span of 10 minutes I will probably be dealing with my last two wives, and God knows what else is involved when I talk to either of them. At the former in-laws house it was rather uneventful for they had disowned EX2 for the 7238 time the night before, so I was spared any of that trauma of dealing with her, but after the next ten minute drive I realized that there was a scheme going on. These things are bad enough, when one woman is involved but when you have two, you might as well just surrender to evil, and hope God takes pity on you.

I waited at the hostage swap location until EX3 showed up with her girlfriend in tow to take the kids to the annual Christmas Parade that always follows Thanksgiving around here. She jumped out of the car, and started whisking the kids in until I felt that arm on my shoulder, and the voice of EX3’s GF saying “Let’s walk over to the Dunkin Donuts, and I’ll buy you a coffee”, I felt like I had just been patted on the back by Charles Luciano, and I was asked to sit in the back of the limo with Benny Siegel, and Meyer Lansky. I seriously don’t know what the hell was going on here, and I am so damn paranoid these days, I was kinda expecting some sort of other sneak attack on my feelings, while I had spend the drive to the former in-law’s house, and then here steadying my brave face for the kids, and now what?

“Dude, I was reading that blog you wrote last night,” she started saying {mental note … do all lesbians use the word dude to start all of their sentences? I do after all have 5 other chains of reference to go on here, but that is a little off topic} “I can really get into your killing people vibe, but seriously dude, I want you to get back to writing about the funny stuff, and f*ck these people,” which I actually found totally shocking, because I honestly had forgotten that she had ever even read my stuff it was so freaking far back in my little world. “I see a lot of good people hanging out around your page but you always forget about the people who just read you, get a smile and go about their day. You don’t owe us anything, but we have been pretty damn loyal to you,” she ended with.

“You sound just like another one of your enemy camp online. I kinda thought you two were off to better things, and I really thought something went wrong, didn’t it?” I said to her bluntly, as I wasn’t used to talking to her in such a less cryptic manner actually, I am rather flat footed here, but what she said next was probably the key to my salvation at the moment, even if every one of my friends online had said it to me, the fact that someone was looking me in the eyes and about to say this got to me rather quickly.

“Well she was whicked pissed off that you had the nerve to say something about her that was true. I take it all the way it is, I just have you in my favorites on my computer at work, and it gives me a chance to steal some paycheck dude, so I only miss you on the weekends really. You completely nailed her on the being in love with you still, and it isn’t your fault, she couldn’t take it, just like you said. I’m cool with that, she’s cool with that now, and you aren’t as bad as you want everyone to think you are dude. Sh*t, you’re the only guy I’m in love with a lot of the time too, so f*ck those freaks that want you down, and write for you, and me, ok?” and then she actually kissed me on the cheek, and ordered my large Ice Coffee black before I even had to remind her, what I drank. Now of course I romanticized this a little {her language had to be cleaned up a lot, as this is NOT one of those types of blogs, and she did have to look at a few people menacingly, during the conversation, but you get the gist of it all, and I may never wash this cheek again either}.

Well here’s to threads that never die, in my Blogosphere, and how they ended up being in the first place. From the first “Things You Learn From Your Ex Wife’s Girlfriend” until this one, it has been a blessing to have both of them at times. I did promise her that I would be the Ubra-Jeremy again and hold on to that as long as I can, and the fact that I finally found out where the ignore switch is in 360, my chances are better than ever … God Loves You All And So Do I ;8o)

Question … Who’s the last person on Earth you expect to find your salvation in at times, and often do? And how about an example pleeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseee :D

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes ... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Notes - MySpace Edition {Weekends} Mental Notes - Yahell 369 Edition {Weekends} Subscribe to Mental Notes - MySpace Edition Join The Blogaholics MySpace Blog Ring Join Blogaholics Anonymous {on MSN} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Just a Rant

This IS going to be on of those types of blogs, so I suggest that, you all put on your language modulation devices so as not to see all of my swearing. Here is the truth, as I see it, and I am blogging it, and then I am dropping it. My life has been a total nightmare, over some rather cloak and dagger bullshit, that started happening a long time before I ever even realized what a blog was. I have been enjoying some undeserved celebrity through that which I write for too long and apparently this is how it all ends. I am furious, and the only thing I can think of is killing a man in another state that is out of my reach, but hopefully some day he will mess with someone who either can make the drive to cause his funeral, or simply meet his maker face to face. That is my honesty speaking, as I pray for that mother fucker because it was what I was taught to do in the halls of AA. I am pretty sure that he is beyond hope and my self righteous side takes over and simply believes that God should punish people like this, and I have a hard time interfering, as it is also part of my program of recovery to remember that I am not god, nor will I ever be.

My ruination started when the gang of friend that I have come to hang out with online more often than most these days, entered my life. I did what I usually do, and I started caring about them. They brought Jeff along. Bound by the rules of 360 I am not allowed to use his full name so I won’t, but I would love to unleash the wrath of everyone on this fucker trust me. Many of his friends hoped that I could help him out with his alcoholism, because they actually cared about him, but take it from an alcoholic, you can’t change some people. I listen to him long enough to realize that he was a manipulating bastard that only wanted to twist me around to get his friends to see him differently than what he is. His dishonesty was so obvious it sickened me, and his cutting way of disrespecting me was obvious, so I stopped actually paying attention to him, until the things he was doing was beginning to harm others. The overly emotional co-dependant in me wanted to assist in the removal of this demon, and I was so wrong for that, but his flagrant jealousy of me was not only insane, but dangerous.

I truly believed that I was strong enough a person to simply deal with his shit, as he was lying, and scheming, and creating identities {like Trish} to do whatever the hell his sick mind does. I still wish he was fucking dead, but once again that is just my honesty lashing out in the dark. I have been plagued with being the catalyst of this bullshit, and now dealing with people he has manipulated, and losing the very friends I thought I had has just totally poisoned me. I do not say that he has won, I just say that I need to recover from the last two weeks of total hell, that has condemned me to being less of a man then I was a month ago. I mean seriously, why the fuck wasn’t I just allowed to be happy, and not have this sick asshole even enter my life, and I just hate right now. I should have known, and right now I don’t care anymore. I had it brought to my attention that he is possibly at it again, and you know what, I agreed, but I leave that as everyone else’s problem now. I need to get away from all of that shit, and it includes everyone that I personally feel is involved with it. Fuck everyone, and those of you that get angry about that statement, tuff shit, it’s understandable enough.

I give my apologies to those of you that have come to depend on me for whatever it is, but I am sitting here at the end of what was supposed to be a beautiful little vacation, with a back that hurts so bad, that I can’t stand upright, and nothing but fear of every one of you. Fucking nice huh? Even if I desperately want to start apologizing, because I too am sick, I didn’t fucking deserve this. So sorry to be so blunt, but the facts still remain that I have to take care of me, and I feel no remorse any more for those I could have been there for, because I have officially been assassinated. Not quickly like the dagger in the back that most people think of when they deal with the type of total coward the Jeff is, but slowly and torturously, like the way an alkie dies. The only thing that rings in my head is the last words of those who were smart enough to protect themselves by getting the hell away from me, so now I am getting the hell away from me to, but not before I say my last bit on the whole subject …

Remove the soul from the man, and you are left with a monster. Remove the hope from that same man, and you are left with a very dangerous monster. When that monster comes for you, I hope that everyone is standing there to laugh at you ....

At least that is what I thought before I started writing this … Now I just want the antidote to the poison that is killing me … I don’t know anymore … You win assholes … good night ... {Oh and Heidi ... feel free to stop your wonderfully enlightened comments on the side any day now too ok? I'm not stupid enough to beleive you care anymore, but whatever is driving you to remind me of my faults these days, you finally do sound just like your hero Shawn ... so fuck off}

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Let's Talk About Sex Baby - Volume 7

I guess realistically I am not all that I portray. I sit here right now, very happy with myself, as I managed to write a fantasy blog that didn’t make me feel bad afterwards. By simply allowing myself to feel what I think, and then letting someone else add the juice to it, I didn’t feel like such a liar after it was all said and done. At least that is what I am assuming is the reasoning for it right now. The very first, “Let’s Talk About Sex Baby” entry that I posted into my Blogosphere on August 4, 2005, was actually a joke, based on my inability to talk about sex, that was almost a personal dare from a friend down in Florida. I did what I do best, and that would be “make a spectacle of myself” as I joked about the porn movies that I download, while I am being Mr. Noble Loveaddict. In reality, it was one like all of the other blogs I had written at the time, talked about a lot, with no comments under it. I had of course become known for some of my perversions then, and it made good chat room fodder.

The reality of my first naughty tale was simply, a way for me to “get even” with all of the ladies on my 360 list that would write dirty stories, and enjoy my feigned reactions towards them. I am so incredibly boring sexually, that I thought that my superior writing abilities that have taken such boring little tales of going to a grocery store, or to the school, or even the dump, and made them appealing to others, could simply make my sexual fantasies that much brighter. Fact of the matter is, that it was the first, and only form of lying I had ever done on my blog. Sure I had these dreams, and of course I wrote them out truthfully from where I had seen them, but reality dictates that some dreams don’t come true, and when it comes to my own sexuality, it’s very uninteresting otherwise. The only thing more caustic to me is my ability to feel genuine love. The story of me really does come down to “That Jeremy is so good at so many things, it’s too bad love ain’t one of them”, and I am learning to be ok with that.

With the assistance of my buddy Chrystal, I was able to take the romantic stuff that I wrote, which is usually nothing more that a pipe dream of the perfect romance with a little more angst, and combine it with the raw animalistic passion that she writes about, and it finally became true fantasy. Fiction if you will, and it didn’t actually hit me the way it always did. There wasn’t that feeling of regret over the things that I yearn for, and the fact that I am the one to interfere with it, at every turn. I didn’t have to look at what I think, and then say to myself all of the awful things that I do when, I am finished yearning for what I can’t have, due to my own ineptness. My story originally was my usual romantic tale of a date that led to passion, after she had rearranged it so that it was the woman’s eye view of the date instead of mine; I actually liked it a lot more, for a few reasons. The first being that she had the ability to be a lot more primal in thought that I can, and it was refreshing to see the romance in a different light. The second of course being that I might have actually seen the differences between what I see, and my willing accomplices in romance. The fact still remained that I looked at it as being fiction now, and I was able to take my personal romantic demons out of it.

If I had my way {and this is the God’s honest truth mind you} I would have a woman that I can spend the rest of my life with, and I would be happy with the thought of never having to pursue my sexual demons ever again. Reality is that my sexual demons prevent that quite well due to the fact that EVERYONE has sexual demons. I joke quite often with my dearest friends that I am a submissive class person, with some dominating characteristics. This means that I want a woman who will take control of me sexually most of the time, and allow me my little times of being the aggressor. Sounds easy huh? Well it isn’t, and I have learned over the years {ok bullshit, I haven’t learned a damn thing, but I am at least accepting it now … sheesh}, that the best of intentions by the fairer sex merely leads me to a dark place, where I curl up in a ball and wait to die. {so to speak} I married three women who thought foreplay was nagging, and I have dated a plethora of women who thought that it was my job, to initiate any form of sexual activity, {and all the lying to myself in the world is not going to change that thought} when I would have much rather been raped. Yeah ME!

The other side of that nasty little coin was that anytime I was to find a woman who was actually aggressive, it was because she was either angry most of the time, hated men, or was a downright whore, who thought I was going to fix them. All three of these types really took the romance out of it all, and I then think about my broken picker, and end up with the first woman that will have me. I always needed to be loved by someone, and with the hopes that they will change to suit my needs, I was just waiting to be crushed, by myself.

Here I am again at that crossroads that inevitably reminds me that I am better off alone with a good porno movie, because I am sick of being heartbroken over my own inability to love, desire, or show genuine affection in a method that would be construed as normal, but the good news is that I am actually ok with that. When you throw in the certain level of celebrity that my blog brings me now, and I am forced to ask myself “what the hell is wrong with me that I can actually stare into the face of many beautiful women and say, No Thank You”, and it is probably a lot easier to see why I have so many issues. ;8o)

Ok … let’s do it again … I would appreciate it, if you all would just smash the shit out of this blog …. Lyrics … Poems … Funny Stuff … you name it! … Let us just get out of ourselves for a bit, and see what happens, I am rather sick of being an adult!

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes ... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Notes - MySpace Edition {Weekends} Mental Notes - Yahell 369 Edition {Weekends} Subscribe to Mental Notes - MySpace Edition Join The Blogaholics MySpace Blog Ring Join Blogaholics Anonymous {on MSN} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Friday, November 25, 2005

Tales of Tease from The IrishChick and The Crow - Volume 1

Disclaimer! Please Read!! This blog will contain things that are not exactly suitable for all, and will be a little sexually graphic in nature. Hell, it will also be VERY long, and is a testament to how low my mind can go. If you DO NOT like sexual fantasies, and you especially don’t like ones that might be a little over the top, then crying to Yahell, your friends, me, or your mommy, will not overcome the fact that you are an idiot for reading past here. Thank You … signed The Madman Behind the Big Curtain!

This is a collaborative effort between me {The Crow}, and the IrishChick … If you go over to her page she has “Tales of Tease from The IrishChick and the Crow – Volume 2” over there ..

It’s such a beautiful night, the stars shining brightly in the sky. The moon is full and glowing, and there is a slight chill in the air. We have just finished up a fabulous dinner at your favorite place, which happens to be a beautiful, small, and romantic bistro on the south side of town. That’s one thing I really love about you, you’re such a romantic, and those dreamy eyes, get me. I love the way we sit so close, feet entangled with each others. I adore the way you look at me, as I see you gazing as if you are studying me. You try so hard to be such a softie, but I know better. The night is still young, and I have something wicked in my mind. Tonight shall be the night, the night we become one, and I finally get you inside of me, where you belong.

I can’t wait to get you back to my apartment, because I want so badly to just throw you up against the door, right here, right now and rip every last article of clothing off, of you. I don’t care if the neighbors see, let them watch you make love to me and wish they knew my pleasure, as I have been imagining it all night. I can tell, you are trying to be the one in control. I may just let you have your way, even if it is only for a little while longer. I lean in for a goodnight kiss, and as your softening, wet kisses burn my mouth, you are holding my hand, and the way you do it just makes me feel ever so special. Oh, how I feel like such a teenager at times. When we are holding hands, locked by lips, the moment is so cute, so playful and full of life.. I give you that look, that very same look, that I know gets you every time, as my .teeth press upon these very lips., that you can never stop staring at.. I give you a smile as I lean forward for another kiss; and I sense you think this is good-bye., but no baby, it’s my turn now. With that, I lean back, grab the door and open it, never letting go of your hand, as I pull you in, to the place I am going to love you, finally.

I have a feeling you know what is about to come of all this, because you do seem a little too willing about coming inside. No matter to me really, as I have already shut the door behind you. You are so mine now, and you will not leave until I say so. Just looking at you makes me so wet, and sometimes, it gets so bad I can hardly stand it. I just want to go after it, right here, right now. But, I know you want me to be patient and wait. I really do try baby, but tonight, I just don’t think I can behave myself. Tonight has to be the night I give myself to you. I have to let you see me for the way I really am, when I think of you so deep inside of me, how I hunger, how I ache for you baby.

I turn to face you, and just completely wrap you up in my body. I so want to feel you as close to me as possible and it is simply killing me to imagine the feel of your breath on my skin. I just want your hands all over my body, so I push you up against the wall as you give me the most passionate kisses, but in one sweet movement, it is I against the wall….legs wrapped around you. I am smothered in your breath. I feel like my lips are on fire. This want of you is taking over my body. I want you to know I am willing. I slowly start to rub my thigh against you; I know the slight sound of stockings rubbing is enough to send you over the edge. I use my calf to pull you closer. How my darling, how I want to feel you inside of me. I want you to ache for me the way I am aching for you.

With each passionate move, each kiss; I tend to fall more and more in love with you. I hope you understand me, I hope I do not scare you off. I want so badly to just look you in the eyes, tell you to strip, come over and take my clothes off….starting with the stockings. Once complete, I want to tie you up so that you can not move. I want you to watch me, as I lay myself in front of you. Laid out, spread eagle. I want you to watch me, suck my fingers, and plunge them deep into my wet pussy. I want you to watch me make myself cum for just you; I want so badly to see the reaction on your face, with that, I will untie you, and tell you to fuck me as hard and rough as you can manage. But, I am afraid you will think I am some freak. So for now, I will keep this desire inside of me.

Your kisses are burning my insides, deep into my soul. I want you. I need to feel you deep within me. My hands are shaking a bit now, as I fumble with your pants. Within a few moments I am able to break the workings free. Until this point, I have only been able to imagine what that throbbing erection looked like. And now, I am seeing it with my own two eyes. Oh how I long to lick it, kiss it, suck it then fuck it. For now, I am content with it resting as close to my wet pussy as possible. I have already removed my panties, as this should come as no surprise. You know I am ready. You madly tear at my stockings as you begin to feel the wetness of my lips, juices flowing…I can feel you getting to that point of no return, and I know we will not be making it to my bed tonight.

I startled myself as I let out a gasp in your ear as I feel the very tip of your cock find the entrance to my pussy. I use my calf against your back to try and give you some force and guide you in. This desire I have for you is so strong. I feel your cock getting harder and harder against my flesh. Our kisses are getting faster, deeper and longer. Without warning, you violently slam your hardness inside of me as my lips start to curl in mid-kiss. I begin to nibble your ear, kiss your neck and give you small licks. I arch my back, and within seconds you’re moving inside of me, the feeling of total ecstasy takes over.

The rhythm has taken hold of both our bodies. Our hips are moving together as one. Your cock is the perfect size to fill me,, and as we move together I start longing for you to fill me more, the moaning, ever so slight is making us both dizzy, but my hands are locked to you. You feel my hot breath whispering in your ear. “Baby, I love you” while my deliciously moist pussy kisses your cock, gently, but ever so passionately. I try to guide you as deep inside of me as nature will allow, and I desperately want you to slam me faster. I want to cry out to you “Fuck my pussy baby…make me cum!!” My teeth find your ear and instead I whisper “I want your cum sweetie – please – let me feel you deeper inside of Me.” the only thing between those words are the pants and gasps for air. You’re thrusting inside of me passionately but with such hardness. It is more then I hoped for. Just enough to send me over the edge and make me cum. Oh how I want us to cum together, you filling me up as my juices push out against your cock and slowly drips down your shaft, down our thighs……I am right there baby, almost there. I get a grip and my nails claw at your back; I want to scream at the top of my lungs….but I hold it in. I want the moment to be perfect when I totally let myself go.

You’re thrusting harder now, pulling out, teasing me with the tip, thrusting back in. Making me squirm…..wiggle against you, waiting to be slammed again. One long hard slam and I can’t hold back. I let out a scream so loud it comes out from the depths of my soul and the tops of my lungs. Happy to see this does not frighten you, but rather turns you on more. I can’t move, my head is to the side, body tight against the wall. I am cumming with such a force of wetness; I know you can feel me. My juices are squirting with such a force that I can tell it is a feeling you have never felt before. You get in a last few hard slams – explode with such a force and fill my pussy with hot sticky cum. I feel it filling me up, causing me to gasp for air. I wiggle. You’re shaking. Our bodies are weak, barley able to hold us up. And at that moment, I look deep into your eyes, your lips arched into a smile, and I know … I am in love. ;8o)

This is a collaborative effort between me {The Crow}, and the IrishChick … If you go over to her page she has “Tales of Tease from The IrishChick and the Crow – Volume 2” over there ...

Other Issues of "Tales of Tease" ... Tales of Tease - Volume 1 ... Tales of Tease - Volume 2 ... Tales of Tease - Volume 3 ... Tales of Tease - Volume 4 ... Tales of Tease - Volume 5 ... Beyond My Tales of Tease - Volume 1 ... Tales of Tease - Volume 6 ... Tales of Tease - Volume 7 ... Tales of Tease from The IrishChick & The Crow - Volume 1 ... Tales of Tease - Volume 8 ... Beyond My Tales of Tease - Volume 2 - Tales of Tease - Volume 9

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes ... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Notes - MySpace Edition {Weekends} Mental Notes - Yahell 369 Edition {Weekends} Subscribe to Mental Notes - MySpace Edition Join The Blogaholics MySpace Blog Ring Join Blogaholics Anonymous {on MSN} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Superdaddyman Takes on the Evil Greektradgedius - Volume 2

So another Thanksgiving has passed and with this Thanksgiving, I give you a brief rundown of my day, the good the bad, and the ugly. It started off rather decently enough. I had the most invigorating wet dream I have had since I had first gotten sober, and it woke me bolt upright. I shall start my gratitude list right there, and say Score 1 for the good guys. I packed all of the evils’s up and marched them out to the prisoner transportation device {made by Buick} and kissed them all on the foreheads, knowing that 4 days of freedom had just begun. My former in-laws have the kids every Thanksgiving, and I have them on Christmas, and it has been a wonderful deal thus far. Score 2 for the good guys, and we now tabulate ourselves at a modest {Good 2 … Evil 0}. Off to the wonderful world of Online, where it was pointed out to me that the evil Jeff, had closed up shop, as his alter ego Trish {G-3..E-0}. Wow you would think it was actually a day to be thankful for something.

Online now I was able to catch up on some blog smashing for the holidays, and at the same time brag about said wet dream {G-5 .. E-0), and then wait until Greektradgedius Inyiddish, was ready to go to Warren’s for our Thanksgiving day buffet. After a 20 minute car ride with my Grandmother {G5.. E-2}, because yes, she does A. Nag like a second generation Jewish mother, and B. Bitches to high holy heaven about mine and everyone else’s driving. Let us not forget that this is a woman who doesn’t fell comfortable past 25mph or driving without her left turn signal on at all times. The restaurant was crowded, but as the former manager of the place, my Grandmother had a reservation, so we were seated immediately {G-6 .. E-2}. We had the only waiter in the joint, and all of the cute waitresses were no where near me to bother me while I am enjoying family time {G-6 .. E-3}, and my Aunt was only ten minutes late {G-7 .. E-3} … yes that was a good because you usually have to add 20 minutes for each of them, this was a major improvement.

Well now we are in the portion of the day that will score big for the evil side of the game. Right off the bat, we have to mention that the very first thing that these three did, when the food came out was start jamming it into their mouths, and bitching like 99 year old ladies who thought they were being cheated at dominoes. Food spraying all over me and it really is times like this that I remember the horrific inbreeding that took place during the days of the Tudor Monarchy. {G7 .. E-6} The fun didn’t stop here either, as now I was about to get parenting courses from a woman who thought walking into my house carrying a dead cat was a brilliant idea, with all of the kids sitting in the living room {G-7 .. E-8} Yes I did score 2 for, once for being a liberal weenie, and the second one for being even stupider than they usually are. Understanding a 13 year old girls, angst my ASS, I say we just stop feeding her, worked for that stupid cat Morris for God’s sake .. ahem … um … oops … TMI …

Now that my parenting skills have been totally chastised in the name of understanding the brain of a 13 year old girl {and let’s get real here, the ladies reading this are looking back and trying to figure out what they were thinking, and are drawing a blank too}, and have been transferred back to transporting the Really Big Evil back to the Casa Di’ Evils’s {G-7 .. E-10} I am free to log on, and brag about my wet dream some more, catch up on even more unfulfilled blogging {G-9 .. E-10} throw on the Superdaddyman costume {tights ladies of course} and fly off to the Salvation Army, where I usually like to spend my Thanksgivings, washing dishes and serving food. {G-10 .. E-10} The greatest news I think I have to come out of this is that there were more elderly people with no place better to go this year than actual homeless people. {G-11 .. E-11} I hate to actually see elderly with no place to go, it beats seeing homeless amounts get bigger too. {scratch that, if we could combine one elderly person I know with a little homelessness … HEY! … that’s what you get for reading my mind in the first place people!} The best news of all was that Jimmy was listening to the happy voices today, and actually helped out in the kitchen, unlike a couple of years ago when the only people invited to the party in his head were a lot angrier than I like in a helper. {G-12 .. E-11}

Back at the Superdaddyman cave, I spent many many hours on a diabolical scheme of my own with a new evil helper in the town of Megalopolis, who shall be kept anonymous now to protect the not so innocent. Through the evil dealings that one of Superdaddyman’s alter ego’s known as “The Crow”, in the planning of the last diabolical Yahell scheme known as “Mophaka De A-hole”, in which he teamed up with the criminal mastermind turned to the plight of GOOD known as “The Owl”, Superdaddyman saw a wonderful opportunity to do such work again. This time it shall be “Operation Getcha Horny” which will be unveiled tonight. Final tally is set at {G-81 .. E-11} … Sounds like a lot to be thankful for to me. See you all tonight ;8o)

Question … What is the one thing you find yourself most grateful for, the day AFTER Thanksgiving? Yes .. I will be expecting details .. Please :D

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes ... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Notes - MySpace Edition {Weekends} Mental Notes - Yahell 369 Edition {Weekends} Subscribe to Mental Notes - MySpace Edition Join The Blogaholics MySpace Blog Ring Join Blogaholics Anonymous {on MSN} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Livin' With Evils's - Volume 15

First of all I want to wish all of my Online Blog Family a JOYOUSLY WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING from the Crow ~big hugs & sweet kisses~

Ok so this is my first blog written on my shiny new copy of Microsoft Word that I bought myself as an early Christmas present. You see Captain ADHD accompanied Superdaddyman today on what was supposed to be a day of daddy son bonding. These things usually take on a different meaning, as the day progresses, but we originally had planned to take on the local Credit Union {Sue me … having the adorable little boy along gets all of the gorgeous young ladies in the business skirts, going bonkers over the Superdaddyman at the CU. He isn’t the only boy in the family … sheesh}, then off to the local Wal-Mart, to get him his Thanksgiving outfit, and then last but certainly not least, off to the hairstylist so that we could get haircuts.

Now for those of you who have forgotten I used to be Singledaddyman, before a mishap had changed me into Superdaddyman {yeah like some of you mistook me for a good father}, so I have been down the road of what was to happen at the stylist. Captain ADHD of course went first so that he could play with the toys afterwards, and I could get my hair trimmed, or so I thought anyway. The stylist came over to me with that look on her face and her hands cupped, the Superdaddysense, was already tingling before she had even gotten to me. {at this point imagining a speeding car squeeling to a stop as it crashes into a wall, would be a wonderful background image} It appeared that once again “The Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s” {TOKE} had brought home many enemy combatants to completely wash away about 4 hours of Superdaddyman’s free time … LICE!!!

Now in the department of fighting off this variety of enemy invader, Superdaddyman happens to be a professional. I should not have to remind any of you that “The Mother of all the Evils’s” happens to be a total loser, and I have had my share of time in the bathroom, with pissed off kids and a bottle of RID. For almost 6 months there while she had custody of the kids I had to wash my two daughter’s heads every other weekend, as the loser I was once married to refused to clean her house. She finally shaved Imtoocutus’s head, and left her looking like she had joined the marines. This was the first time that Captain ADHD had ever had lice, and the stylist kinda wanted us gone, even though they were not very large and the wings had not grown in {oh yeah the first time the loser had sent them to me with lice, they look like moths when they get THAT big}, I totally understood. Out of embarrassment she ended up with a 7 dollar tip too.

I knew the drill. We walked next door, picked out the REALLY BIG lice kit, and I was prepared to do battle. I realize that many of you do not see the humor in this, but you may understand pretty quickly what it is like for a totally craven alcoholic like me to have to use Lice Shampoo. Superdaddyman’s favoritest booze in the whole wide world was Gin, boys and girls, and guess what lice shampoo is made out of? The absolute torture of walking around with a head full of sticky liquid that smells like Tanqueray, is more than most people can handle, much less someone who starts wondering how the Shampoo tastes for God’s sake. Fortunately this sneak attack was rather mild, in the fact that only Captain ADHD had lice and the girls didn’t. The first thing he said when he found that out was, “I told you my hair was getting too long!” Oh well, he is my son after all, so it would stand to reason that when I told him that the girls were going to get Shampooed anyway, just in case, his fiendish laughter mimicked my own.

After washing my own hair, which happens to be longer than his, and although I too think he is rather icky, I am the only member of the family that willingly touches him; I had to spray down all of the beds. I then went around and had to spray all of the furniture, which was no fun, let me tell you. The girls did enjoy reminding Captain ADHD that he had cooties, as it was always his favorite line when they came down with lice and he did not. Other than those little lice torments it was a rather quiet day, well until Lazius Boycrazius, got an invite to go see the new Harry Potter movie. This was answered with a resounding NO, and yet again the fortieth lecture about all the things around the house she refuses to do these days, like bath, or put her dirty laundry in the hamper, or do her homework. You know what I mean, all of the rotten things that us parents do to make our kids lives hell. The lecture always ends with “And had you decided to actually do the things that you were supposed to do all week, then you would have been free to go,” but the story always ends with, “So what I am going to do is spend the rest of the day taking it out on the two siblings,” … 12 years … 305 days … footprint on last ass … Winnebago … no forwarding address … FREEDOM … ;8o)

Question … What are those wonderful things that keep getting repeated in your kids lives that tend to remind you, that the Merry Go Round Ain’t Fixed?

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Some More Reasons I am Jeremy Crow Afterall - Volume 4

Well I set out today to simply create the ripples of what I hope will be some reinvigorated good cheer amongst the masses of the 360 world, by having a fan appreciation day. I don’t actually mean anyone who is MY fan, I am talking about characters from my ever expanding comments sections that I and everyone else are HUGE fans of. I kinda stole the idea from the “Hottie of Kentucky” {yeah that one is going to be confusing I know, as there are like a dozen of ya, so you will have to look through their blogs to know who it is}, who did the greatest friends tribute chain that I have seen in 360 thus far. I am not saying this as I was in it, but because I think that it was a wonderfully sweet idea, which was so like her, and why I am a loyal reader of hers. Oops this isn’t actually her tribute though, so I better get to the people I am going to introduce you to through MY eyes today.

This one is a three-fer actually, and it is fitting that they are going to be my first, as they are the people who truly made me, here in 360land. All in different ways, and in the most endearing qualities of the human soul. Anytime I get frustrated and want to simply quit the blogging world {mostly because I am a big stupid head, but for many other reasons usually linked to my own self destructive issues}, remembering that I know Cathy, Don, and Daniel through all of this word truly is the driving factor that always brings me back. For those of you who haven’t been with us all that long, we do have a history, and it goes sort of like this …

Cathy’s cousin, who goes by the nickname Sol Journer {who has since dis-owned both of us btw … lol}, added me to her 360 list out of the blue. I was mired in this Merry-Go-Round of worthlessness, that was about to bring my writing to an end at that point. I was mired in the world of being a rather long boring writer in a field of short and cute bloggers from my original gang {the FOBW’s}, and it was just losing the fun of it all. I never could bring myself to the point of actually writing anything different then what I did, and I was rather bored with it. With Sol came a FLOOD of the Astrology gang, but most importantly Cathy, her cousin, who had everything needed by me at the time. She was sweet as Cotton Candy, a little afraid to share of herself too much, and just needed a little encouragement to get writing more. Yeah my usual Modus Operandi I know, but as she started writing more, and encouraging me to write more, along came Don, and the real fun began. You see I was Don’s first 360 friend after Cathy, and we hit it off like gangbusters.

Cathy was Don and my cheerleader a lot of the time, as the two of us would have totally senseless humor attacks {hit and runs} on other peoples sites, as well as each others, and the next thing you knew, my words were starting to be read by many more people. I was usually just trying to draw the best comments possible out of Don, for his greatest gift to society, is the ability to make other people smile. He married the perfect woman too, as she totally feeds off of smiling people. Even now a days I have no delusions over why I get comments at all, and that is mostly due in part to Don really throwing some of the best laughter bombs under my blogs, because we truly are like Abbot & Costello, when we get going. I still consider the two of them to be the “Thunder and Lightning” of 360, and if I really like you, then you will know it, because I put the birdy in your ear that you need these two as friends. Nobody has EVER regretted adding them, as they will liven any room.

The greatest gift that they have given me seriously though, is the constant hope for society, and I say that in the best possible manner I can. Two people, who love each other dearly, no matter what, who share themselves with everyone, and of course brought their son Daniel into my 360verse as well. For those of you who don’t know him, we are talking about another shining example of the wonderful things these two people do. He might not be perfect, and even might scare you to look at him sometimes, but trust me, this kid is AMAZING, and if you take the time to know him, you’ll look like an ass if you say things like “teenagers are hopeless“. He gets his props here for being the person who posted the picture that is now known as “The Superdaddyman”, which probably will give him fame and fortune someday {ok, I know … ego ego ego}

Here are my favorite Cathy, Don and Daniel comments from my blog …

Cathy from {Entry for November 13, 2005 - Let's Talk About Sex Baby - Volume 4} …. the Dallas police don't take to well the whole peeing outside thing *grabs Don and guides him to the men’s room*, sorry officer, he's just a harmless country boy ... Oh yeah...chocolate ice cream and potato chips!!! Yummm

Don from {Entry for October 29, 2005 - Oh The Wonderful Past Wreckage - Volume 2} *and I note he totally turned this blog entry into a zoo! It wasn’t half as funny as he turned it into* … DUDE! Grill the CAT! They will never come back for a drunkfest funeral for pets at your house, or anything else for that matter! *also noted all of his recipes and cooking advice afterwards were classic Don moments - you have to go see the whole thing to believe it*

Daniel {Entry for October 29, 2005 - The Crow's Spooktacular Halloween Countdown - Number 2} … I saw it a couple of months ago for the first time. Friday night I was at a football game, South Garland vs North Garland, and I got yelled at for dancing to North Garlands bands music. Of course it just had to be the Time Warp. … It's just a jump, to the left.

Well I guess in all reality this might have been a great big birdy, planted into all of your ears, but I really wanted to make sure that everyone out there understood, one of the greatest components to why I am what I am today, or at least what you might perceive me to be. The only really wonderful thing that the 360verse really is, to me anyway, is another way to acquire such wonderful weavings for the great basket known as Jeremy, and these first three are so important to me. The other wonderful thing about this blog entry is that I love these three so much that I was able to blurt this entire blog out in 20 minutes, now that should tell you something. I know it told me the next time I am pressed for time or have writers block, I am simply going to sit down and do my “Some More reasons I am Jeremy Crow Afterall” on Elonna, Shannon & Lynn. ;8o)

Ok this isn’t exactly a question, but I want you all to tell me what YOU GUYS think of my favoritest 360 family, and if you want to, why not ask a question of them and see if they would be willing to come out and answer it {PG Rated PLEASE! Daniel is underage after all!} … Love You Guys :D

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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Fairy Tales of Prey from the Owl & the Crow

This blog is a special edition co-authored with me by my very dear friend Night Owl ... If you have her on your list too, you might like to go see her closing moral, as well ~winks~

Once upon a time in land far far away … the magic of this land attracted people from distant and mystical places across the globe, and unto this land came a fair princess from the farthest land of them all. Her eyes were wide with wonder at the vast array of different characters living and sharing the merriment and welcoming her to come join their new found family and share in endless days of mirth and laughter. With that she joined hands with the wise witch {Glenda}, the Dragon , the Serpent and the Wolf and they danced and laughed and all was good. Everyday there were new and even more amazing people to come join the fun, for this magical place had become THE place to be seen. More fair princesses gathered here than any other place, and they were all so open and happy that no man ever wanted to leave. The princess from the farthest land of all soon made many friends and spent long hours talking and laughing with the witch , the Dragon , the Serpent and the Wolf.

The Serpent all shiny and slick would dance and make much merriment for this princess and a close bond soon formed. Another Fair princess came and joined all this fun, as she was a delicate and sweet princess who befriended all, making everyone giggle and love her, with her sweet ways her beauty and kindness soon caught the Wolf’s eye. They formed a friendship and soon kept close company where their bond deepened and secret glances would be exchanged to keep the others from knowing just how close they had grown. For many years the fun and merriment held all in this land happy and contented. They would sit for hours and be enthralled by the witch’s tales of a time long forgotten and laugh with her at her good hearted teasing, especially of the snake as he would slither and dance for every fair new maiden that came to join this land. He would change his skin and do all sorts of tricks to gain the attentions of any that caught his eye, until one day a new maiden came and played him at his own game.

Before he knew it, he was captured and held by her his dancing days no more. The others giggled at this and went on their merry way to sing and dance and laugh and play , and be carefree every day. The snake missed this so much for his keeper was strict , no more frolicking to keep the others entertained, Trouble soon came to the snake and he sought out the princess who was once his best friend and companion, for he knew she would listen to him as she always had , and that she would help him to find the happiness he once had. For months they talked and got to know each other even better than they thought they did before. The snake was drawing her in with his charming ways, as they shared the sadness' that had been so heavy on them before finding this magical place to lift their hearts and make them sing again. As the princess grew stronger she would venture further on , for she was a curious princess with a thirst for more knowledge and wisdom and new people to meet.

The snake took unkindly to this for he needed to have her all to himself to pamper and preen his fragile ego, and to make other men envy what they could not have! With her not being his sole possession their envy he would never have, as this twisted the snake and made him turn bright green, delving into the depths of the poison potion and wallowing in the sickness it gave he began to plot and plan. The princess saw what the poison was doing and would try to help her wounded friend. She would hold out her hand and tell him she would support him if to get well was his plan. On all he professed to hold so dear he would swear this to be so. She’d stay and once m